


Star Struck Fool

by ShadyZap



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, M/M, Male Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Multi, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Rated Mature for Later on, Slow Burn, shance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 05:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadyZap/pseuds/ShadyZap
Summary: Everyone is foolish when it comes to love.





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone knew that Shiro is one in a million. Heck even he knew it. Perfect grades, perfect flight simulation score, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect teeth, fuck perfect everything. Everyone knew.  
Especially Lance.

Oh boy does he know it. Yet he wasn't afraid to tell Shiro just how perfect he is. If you were to meet Lance you'd probably say he is obnoxious, greedy and stupid. Hell that's what Lance thought of himself. But if you truly knew Lance, like really knew Lance, you say he is determined impulsive and a genius. You see Lance never has seen his true potential. And he may never truly see it but if you saw a glimpse of his potential you see that he could do many great things. He's already done so many great things like getting into the Garrison. Getting into the Garrison was a milestone for Lance. Never in a million years did he think he'd get into it. But he did. He worked hard, hard enough to get a scholarship. He worked two jobs just so that his Mama wouldn't have to take out any loans just for him to go to school. He never asked her for money. He felt as if he wasn't worth the trouble. That's why when he had got his acceptance letter, he was absolutely elated. His hard work had paid off. He felt a twinge of worth at that point in time. But, as always, it didn't last. 

Three months into training at the Garrison Lance saw that he wasn't really all that special. He wasn't as smart as Pidge or as inventive as Hunk, nor was he as good a pilot as Keith. And he's never gonna be as strong as Shiro. Gods was that man was built. Another reason why Lance admired him. Ok maybe not admired, idolized? No, crushing on would be more accurate. Lance has one big fat crush on Shiro. He couldn't deny it, no one could deny it. Well except Shiro. You see, Shiro may be the top student in the Garrison but boy was he oblivious to anyone who wasn't Keith.  
Over the past months numerous of girls and guys have confessed to Shiro. And what does Shiro say?

"You like me? Why?" The audacity! Shiro doesn't even see why! Shiro may be the top student but he never held that over anybody. He believes that just because you succeed better than most doesn't mean you should brag about it. It never really occurred to him that maybe he was better than most. Either way it's no reason to bring someone down. And this is where Lance steps in. Lance, this poor boy, has no filter. He's as bold as they come and whatever is on his mind, he speaks it. So as Lance starts to hang around Shiro more often, mainly because he's Shiros cadet, he can't help but say just how perfect Shiro is. Shiro, of course, is unaffected. He either grunts and nods just to get Lance to stop talking, or, like what he's doing right now, ignores him and continues what he's doing.

Right now they're in the laboratory finishing up the making of solutions so that the next class can use them for their experiments. Shiro, who's done most of the work because of the control freak he is around Lance, doesn't even notice the way Lance looks at him. The look that one gives to the love of their life. The look as if Lance was star gazing on the roof of the dorms, inspecting each and every star there is. Lance can't help it. Being this close to him. His role model and love of his life (even though Shiro may not know it yet). He can't help but stare at Shiro and examine every aspect of his being. The way his brow scrunches when he's concentrating, or when he's frustrated. The way he sets his jaw every time he squeezes the pipet, slowly so he can get the concentration of whatever acid is in there. How Shiro has the most perfect eyelashes Lance has ever seen. He knew Japanese people are gorgeous but man Shiro is on a new level. Whenever Shiro looks at Lance he's pretty sure that he never hears what Shiro says to him so he just agrees, even though he has no idea what he's agreeing to. And right now Shiro is looking at him. Oh my god Shiro is looking at him.

"Hmm?" Lance hums not really sure of what was said.

"I didn't say anything..." oh.

"Oh... right. Sorry!" Lance laughed blushing because he just looked like an idiot.  
Shiro just grunts.

Time passes and Lance can see that Shiro is stressed mainly because he can't seem to make the exact concentration that needs to be made. He's tried at least five times and five times he failed. This makes Lance worry. Shiro usually makes a solution as if it we're routine. Something is up. And Lance being the nosey person he is can't help but wonder.

"Everything alright?" Lance asks.

Shiro sighs not responding to Lance and just continues to work. Lance frowns a little due to the lack of attention he's been getting from Shiro. This makes Lance wonder if he's even needed.

"Fuck!" Shiro curses. Making Lance flinch, not because he cursed but because Shiro slammed his fist against the lab table. Lance has never seen Shiro this upset. Not even when Lance is being a pain in the ass.

"Do you need help? I'm here if-"

"No." Shiro sighs cutting Lance off mid sentence. Lance deflates and shuts his mouth. But once again Shiro let's out a sigh and a growl. So Lance asks again.

"Are you sure you don't need any-"

"No, Lance." Shiro says with a chilling voice that makes Lance sit up straight. So he just sits there awkwardly but still observing Shiro as if he's a biological specimen.  
Shiro sighs again, taking off his lab glasses, which is highly unadvised, setting them on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shiro? Do you want me to he-" Shiro growls before,

"No, Lance! I don't need your help! And frankly I don't need you!" Shiro explodes. And for an unknown reason. But Lance thinks it's because of him when it's not. Shiro is breathing hard, trying to calm down so he won't break anything.

"Look can you just-" Shiro finally looked at Lance and immediately regretted what he did. At first Lance hadn't know he was crying. His eyes were wide staring blankly at Shiro as tears dripped out of his eyes. Once Lance felt a drop on his lab coat he gasped, trying to stop the tears from falling but they wouldn't. They wouldn't stop! Which made Lance cry even more. Gods he hated crying. Lance never cried. At least no ones seen him cry. And once lance realizes that. He apologized and ran off to his room.

"Wait L-" Shiro tries but Lance is already out the laboratory.

"Damn it!" He curses stumbling back, leaning on a lab stool. He never meant to yell at Lance, he never has. He loves Lance, maybe not in the same way Lance does. At least he thinks he doesn't. He'd do anything for Lance. Shiro has never met anybody who is like Lance, strong, funny and quite... beautiful.

Beautiful. Gods is he beautiful. Perfect brown skin, not a single scratch or blemish on him. Beautiful deep blue eyes that pull at your soul when you look into them. Long toned legs that could kick anyones ass if need be.His beauty is what he was known for in this school. And of course Lance loved the attention but he only wanted the attention of one person-Shiro. But Shiro is either too busy with work and school or with Keith. Lance never understood why Shiro was so fond of Keith. Yeah he was a great pilot, best in his class actually, but he was always so... grumpy.

Hmm maybe that's why. Anyway, Shiro was always with Keith in the food court, in the trading deck, even in his room! Lance hated to admit it but he was jealous of Keith. Keith never even tried and he got the attention of the one guy Lance is in love with. Ok yeah Lance was a little overbearing sometimes but that's who Lance is he always tries to make light of things because frankly that's what this school needs. Everyone is so grumpy and uptight. Lance feels as if he's in some type of asylum. And at this moment Lance feels like he's finally starting to fit in. 

He finally broke.


	2. Chapter 2

Lance ran down the hall, his muscle memory taking him back to his room. Thankfully there was no one in the halls mainly because it's past curfew. Still he was thankful, he doesn't want anyone to see him like this. Lance scanned his palm to open up his dorm room. The great thing about having Hunk as a roommate was that he slept like a rock. That way he wouldn't hear Lance crying. Hunk and Lance have been friends since they were little yet Hunk still hasn't seen Lance cry. When they were little Lance was the one that was always protecting Hunk. Imagine a scrawny little kids with curly frizzy hair protecting -or at least trying to protect- someone twice his size. Lance always got hurt but Hunk has never seen anyone or anything that can make Lance cry.

And this is why he's so mad at himself for crying. He's crying over a stupid reason! "Who cries over a boy?!" Lance thought. The harder he tried to convince himself that he shouldn't be crying, he cries even more. His tears just wouldn't stop! Gods was it frustrating.

His tears flowed till about five in the morning when he finally fell asleep due to the pounding headache he got from his crying. Meaning Lance only got an hour of sleep because school starts at six so the students can have breakfast. Lance thought about skipping but he'd feel guilty if he did. Lance has perfect attendance and he plans to keep it that way. So he gathered up his pride and got ready convincing himself of the false allusion that everything was gonna be alright.  
\--  
Everything was not alright. He had forgotten that his first period was with Shiro. Shiro was a TA for his calculus professor. How great. Lance wanted to be the bigger person but he just couldn't. Having someone say that you're not needed, okay, but having your idol, your hero, your crush, say that you're not needed, can crush you beyond repair.

Lance walked into class and as expected Shiro was there, clearing the white board so that the professor can write the note of the lecture on it. Once Shiro finished wiping off the board he turned to the door where all the students were entering, he froze as his eyes landed on Lance. Lance of course was staring but tried to play it off that he wasn't. Didn't work out. Shiro smiled at him. This made Lance... angry? Lance was confused because Shiro has never smiled at him and when he finally did it's as if he's trying to make everything alright.

Which is what made Lance angry.

All he's wanted since he's been at the Garrison was for Shiro to smile at him like he does at Keith, with passion, love, and adoration. Not this smile. Pity, guilt and reassurance. Lance scrunched his eyebrows and look to the floor as he rushed to his seat. As he got to his seat he didn't look up to anyone like he usually did. Smiling and greeting people as they sat down. This time with his head down getting out his class materials. Lance knew that Shiro was staring at him. He could feel it, two burning holes right through him. Lance, still, didn't look up. He didn't want to look at Shiro he felt if he did he'd heard those words all over again.

"And frankly I don't need you!"

Lance flinched hearing those words in his head. He wanted it to stop.  
No one knows this about Lance but behind the facade he puts on in front of everyone, there's something dark in him. And that something is anxiety. It wasn't the anxiety that makes people not want to go anywhere or meet new people, Lance loved going to new places and meeting new people, it was the one that ate at him.   
Telling him, what if he isn't good enough?   
Or, what if he doesn't deserve to do what he's doing?

Is he really worth anything?

Is he really worth living?

Lance shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and took a deep breath. Finally he looked up but avoided Shiros guilty eyes. He stared at his professor the whole time, which wasn't that amusing because all his professor did was write down notes and equations. Gods he was bored. Looking at Shiro was much more amusing, but if he looked at him he knew he'd be done for. The temptation was complete agony. His eyes burned from staring at his professor too long just so he could avoid looking a Shiro. But in the end, he couldn't help it. Lance had eyes for Shiro and Shiro only. The fact that he is so in love with him, now, makes him angry because he knows he will never have his feelings returned. And that fact shatters his heart over and over again.

At last, Shiro thought, Lance looked at him. Shiro sighed in relief and smiled as Lance finally looked at him. But his smile was dropped when he saw that Lance didn't smile back. In fact Lance had a face that look as if he's looking at something he absolutely hates. The professor asked Shiro if he could pass out practice sheets to the students causing him to stop watching Lance. But only for a moment. As he passed out the papers his eyes were glued on Lance, never leaving him. Lance in the other hand refused to look at him (again). He told himself that he, not matter what, will not look at him. And this time he didn't fail. Shiro got to his desk,

"Lance?" He whispered, trying not to catch the attention of other students but the the one students attention he was trying to get wouldn't even look at him. Shiro scrunched his eyebrows in sadness and placed the paper on Lances desk. Once he was done he decided to take over the class because, let's be honest, the professor was a bore and Shiro needed something to distract him, and to partially get Lance to look at him. Shiro was positive he heard a sigh of relief from the students which made him chuckle. As he took over the lecture he kept stealing glances at Lance but, still, Lance wouldn't not look at him. This continued for the other half of the class which displeased Shiro because, not that he'd admit it, having Lances attention constantly was something he grew to love. And now that it's gone it felt like something was ripped off leaving him exposed. After class Shiro needed something to comfort him. So he sought out Keith.

After his first period Lance had engineering. His favorite class! Mainly because Hunk is in there and Hunk makes everything better. As he walked to class Lance felt a little bit of happiness due to the fact that he'd see his best friend. But as he turned the corner to the electives hall he stopped in his tracks.  
Shiro was at Keith's locker. 

With Keith.

Kissing him.


	3. Chapter 3

Keith pushed Shiro off him with a gasp, eyes wide in disbelief and shock. With a similar expression, Shiro gapes at Keith as he tries to put together words.

“I-I’m- “

Keith shakes his head and looks down, mostly in melancholy. He’s tried so many times to tell Shiro that he doesn’t feel the same way he does. Of course, Shiro is a great guy but Keith thought of him as a brother and nothing else. Guilt pulled at Keith’s heart, he doesn’t want to hurt Shiro, but this is the only way to get it through him that he doesn’t share his feelings.

“I’m sorry Shiro, I don’t- I don’t feel that way.” Keith said with a sad voice. Shiro sighed and nodded.

“Yeah… yeah I know. I just-“he scrunched his eyebrows, “I just wanted to see for myself.” There was a moment of awkwardness but soon dispersed but the ring of the tardy bell. The bell made Keith jump a little,

“Ah! I-I have to get to class, it's my third tardy… I can't get another” He really needed to go but he wanted to make sure that Shiro was ok. Looking up at Shiro with worried eyes, Shiro smiled and nodded to the direction of his classroom. 

 

As Lance entered class he wasn't really aware of his surroundings.he couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't breath all because of what he saw. He felt as if he was drugged. Not by drugs but by heart ache. He got to his seat not even greeting Hunk as he sat down, which wasn't his fault. He couldn’t speak. He knows that if he did speak he’d break down. He doesn’t want that. So he sat there the entire class, eyes red and wide staring at nothing, the image in his head of Shiro and Keith kissing would not escape his mind. All he could think was, 

“Shiro doesn’t need me, he’s got Keith!”

“He doesn’t need me.”

“Who needs me?” 

Before Lance knew it it was the end of class, but he can’t move. His legs, paralyzed by overwhelm and nausea. Lances vision began to fade but, thankfully, Hunk tapped him on the shoulder. Startled he jumped back a little making his seat scoot. He needed to leave. Now. Lance grabbed his bag and rushed to the roof, not giving a care in the world of who he's bumping into. He just needed to get out of this place. The roof is where he could go and no one would find him. Mainly because it was ill advised to go to the roof due to all of the electrical junk up there. But he liked it up here. It was a place where he was untouchable, a place where only the sound of engines humming all around you blurred out the noise of all the Garrison. It was his go-to place to get away from the brutality of the Garrison. It was peaceful. Perfect for crying your eyes out.

Lance got to the roof and slid down against the door that separated him from the Garrison, and wept. Powerful sobs escaped his throat and fat tears streamed down his face. Gods he felt weak. Never in his life had he cried this much. He felt stupid and worthless. Lance knows that Shiro has and will always have feelings for Keith and it would've been easier for him if Shiro told Lance flat out that he doesn't feel the same way Lance does. But Shiro never did he'd just accept, well more like tolerate, Lance which he was fine with but, there were days that Shiro would give into Lances attempts to impress Shiro. Shiro, without knowing it, would lead him on, making Lance think that he has a chance with Shiro. He was wrong, he thought. 

“I've never had a chance with him.” He whispered, hugging his knees tighter to his body. 

Lance stayed at the roof ‘till it was night and all the stars could be seen, even parts of the Milky Way. He stared at the sky counting each speck of light he could see whilst thinking about his family. Lance loves his family. When he first got to the Garrison it was hard for him to say goodbye, not forever but definitely for some time. He wished that the Garrison would be a little more lenient on family visitation but of course they won't. The main person Lance misses the most is his sister. She was like his partner in crime. Whenever Lance would do something he knew would get him in trouble, she'd take the blame for him, saving him from la chancla. Lance got shivers down his spine when he thought about la chancla and his mother's insane accuracy. A smile graced upon his lips thinking back to his kid days with his sister and their troublesome ways. Gods he missed them. 

Lances phone rang causing him to curse and fumble for the phone. Lance looked at the caller ID.

It was Shiro.

It didn't exactly say Shiro because Lance had Shiro under Buff Daddy. What? Tease him all you want but no one can deny the meat on that boy. The thought brought a small smile to his lips. 

He debated about answering it but when he finally came to him decision it was too late to pick up. He sighed in defeat and relief because he wanted to hear Shiro but he also didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Lance knows that he has people that would listen to him and all but at this very moment he feels so alone, exposed and heart broken. He's feeling every emotion at once. Anger, because he's angry at himself for being such a wuss over some guy. Jealously, because he wanted to be in Keith's position but knew he'd never be able to. Self-consciousness because he doesn't feel like he's good enough for anybody. And finally, hurt. He feels hurt. Like what he just saw had punched him in the gut, leaving a gaping hole in his body. He tried to cover this hole by folding his knees into himself. Trying to get as small as he can. He just wished he was a strong person. 

His phone rang again and of course it was Shiro. Lance ha missed two classes and a lab so Shiro was worried. Lance, once again let it go to voicemail not even feeling guilty this time. He let out a choked sob and rested his head on his knees. But the all of a sudden he heard snoring. 

“What the hell?” He thought, popping his head up to try and see where it was coming from. He got up to search where it came from and to his avail he found the source. Some guy was sleeping on the roof with a full air mattress under him. Lance had to admit he was kinda handsome. Brown thick hair that kinda looked like those anime style hairs. Pale skin that caught the moon light just right, and wearing a lieutenants uniform. Just like Shiro's. He was utterly confused, he thought he was the only one that came up here. He was wrong. 

Lance tapped his shoulder to wake him up but he didn't. 

“Man this dude sleeps like a rock.” Lance thought, so he pushed his shoulder and the dude finally woke up. 

“Hmm?” He hummed as turned towards Lance. Then the guys eyes shot wide so fast it scared Lance a little. Wow green eyes!

“Shit! What time is it?!” Lance checked his watch.

“Uh, nine?” He said. 

“Oh fuck me!” The guy fell back against his mattress. 

“At least take me on a date first.” Lance remarked. He couldn't help it, it just came out! The guy chuckled and turned towards Lance smiling at him. Lance was a little taken back because man this guys was gorgeous. 

“You're funny.” Lance blushed, shying away while playing with one of his curls. 

“I try.” He said. “Why are you up here might I ask?”

“I come up here to sleep mostly but I like it up here it's nice and soothing… you?” He questioned Lance, sitting up once again.

“Ah, I like to be alone sometimes. Helps me think.” He sighed not giving the guy the whole truth to reason he's up here. 

“Hmm. Well it's nice to meet you! I'm Jackson. Jackson McCall. But you can call me Jay if you want.” Lance nodded smiling back at him. 

“Lance McClain!” He stuck out his hand so they could shake. Jay took his hand but instead of shaking it like normal he brought Lance's hand up to his face and kissed the back of his hand. Blushing bright red Lance gasped and turned his head to the side. Jay had a huge smirk on his face while keeping his eyes on Lance. He chuckled and released Lance's hand. 

“Well you're… old fashioned?” Lance questioned. It really sure what to call his gesture. 

“I guess you can call me that but I only kiss the hand of those with appalling beauty.” Gods this man is smooth. 

“Oh gosh.” Lance hid his face. Jay chuckled as he released Lance's hand. 

“Shit its cold up here. I forgot to bring my blanket.” Jay pouted. 

“Well it is quite late, I think we should head inside… if you want.” Lance saw him nod so he helped him to his feet. And holy hell he is tall. Probably as tall as Shiro. Gods Lance was obsessed everything and everyone reminds him of Shiro. 

“Hmmm..” Jay hummed looking suspiciously at Lance. 

What?

“What?” Lance asked. It came out a little rude but, hey! Staring is rude too.

“Nothing.” He shrugged and walked towards the door to exit the roof as if he wasn't just looking at Lance like he'd just stole his cookie. “Just looks like you've been crying is all.” 

“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lance choked, stumbling after Jay. But he just kept on walking past the door, softly laughing. Lance caught up to him and walked by his side.

“Then why are your eyes all puffy and red?” 

Good question.


	4. Chapter 4

“I'm… cold?” Jay chuckled and shaking his head while continuing to walk down the steps. It took them awhile but they finally got to the floor where all the cadets dorms are, which is the fourth through sixth floor but Lances dorm is on the fifth. Jay walked him all the way to his dorm but once they got there, there was a surprise. Well mainly for Lance because, when the fuck does Shiro go to other cadets dorms when it's not Keith's? 

Before Lance had arrived, with his wonderful companion, Shiro was worried out of his mind. He paced in front Lances door. Beforehand he'd knocked about five times before realizing Lance wasn't there. Which worried him even more. He needed to talk to Lance he didn't mean to say those thing he said but he was just so frustrated that day. Keith had been distant and cold with Shiro that day and it made him incredibly angry, but still, it was no excuse. Lance didn't deserve what had been said to him. What Shiro said to him. Lance is amazing. He may not know it yet but gods is he extraordinary. Besides Hunk, Shiro is the only one who knows how hard Lance works. He knows that Lance practices with the flight simulator after school hours and how he has straight A’s. How he's so reliable and strong, making him the person that his friends come to for advice and comfort. Now, Shiro starts to wonder. Does Lance have the support he need? Is he happy? Does he have his own personal lance to seek comfort and advice from? Shiro doesn't know but the answer to all his questions is, No. He doesn't. Yeah Lance parades himself as someone who has great confidence but there are nights that Lance would lay awake, but not fully awake, on his bed staring at his ceiling, tears streaming down the side of his face and onto the pillow. These night were the worst for Lance. He felt like he couldn't move or breathe, like he was watching himself crumble in front of his own eyes. These nights are the worst.

Shiro stopped pacing once he heard people coming down the hallway. He recognized one voice, it was Lance. But he wasn't alone. 

“Ah, lieutenant Shirogane! Fancy seeing you here… why exactly are you here?” Jay greeted then asked. Confused because let's face it, it's unusual to see lieutenants at the cadets dormitories. 

“I… um … I need to talk to my cadet.” Jay looked down at Lance eyebrows arched in surprise. 

“Wow! You're Lieutenant Shirogane's cadet? Impressive! Only the best get to be mentored by him.” Jay messed up Lances hair in a brotherly fashion. But then he hooked his arm around Lance almost as if he knew that something was going on between them and the reason Lance had been crying on the roof. 

“Well I best be going now. See ya Lance!” Jay walked off but looked back over his shoulder to see how deflated Lance looked in front of Shiro.   
He wondered.

 

Lance and Shiro stood there for a while, not talking nor making eye contact with one another. But finally Lance spoke.

“I need to do some homework so I should go ins-” Lance was stopped mid sentence as he was reaching for the scanner, by Shiro's hand. He froze. Shiro never touched him. Not even when they trained together and Lance got knocked down. All Shiro would do is ignore him or talk at him about how should do better or try to copy Keith. He never touched Lance.

“Lance I need to talk to you… please?” Shiro pleaded. Once again lance was avoiding his gaze. Lance knew that if he looked into his eyes he'd forgive Shiro, Lance doesn't want to forgive him but, at the same time he wants to talk to Shiro again. 

“Lance?” Shiro asked again hoping he'd get an answer. Lance pulled his arm from Shiro's strong yet gentle grip. 

“Can I just go in my room?” Lance asked not wanting to have this conversation right now. He wasn't prepared for it, he doesn't think he'd ever be ready. 

“I would like to talk to you… I really need to.” The thought of Lance not ever speaking to him again scared him. It's only been a day since that day happened and it feels like it's been weeks. Shiro wants to explain to him that he's his best cadet despite what everyone thinks and Lance himself. Shiro does admit it, he is attached to Keith but compared to Keith Lance was someone he found comfort in. Like he could be himself. Lance accepts him for who he is without blinking and eye. 

With Keith, he's a little more timid and hesitant to speak to him. It's more Keith than Shiro who's timid and hesitant mainly because he's an orphan who lives alone and has trust issues. So Shiro tries to make him feel the same way Lance makes him feel.

“Will you please talk to me?” Shiro pleads once more. His voice crack a little which makes Lance look up in shock. The one thing Lance hates to see is people that he cares deeply about, cry. He turns into a momma bear and tries to make them happy again. Shiro isn't crying, he's on the verge but he's not crying. Lance thanks the gods because he knows damn well if Shiro cried Lance would forgive him in a heartbeat.

“I didn't expect you to be here. It surprised me…” Lance started, in a small voice. “But what surprised me the most...was how you made me feel.” Lance felt a lump in his throat. He felt like he was choking. Usually Lance is the type of person to say what's on his mind but right now, he can't. He knows he should because this could harm his education but gods his self-esteem has never been so low. 

“You're someone I admire, cherish, and wish nothing but happiness for you. And for you to tell me that you feel the exact opposite… I-” Lance stopped mid sentence, holding back tears, lips trembling. It took a second to catch his breath so he could continue talking.

“I want to talk and get back to normal, but right now I'm still picking up the pieces of me you broke so I can't. Physically, I can't.” 

“Lance please allow me to apologize. I know what I said to you was wrong-”

“Wrong?” He scoffed.

“It wasn't just wrong Shiro. You made me feel like I'm worthless. Like I'm not good enough for this school or as you said it ‘frankly I'm not good enough for you’. Do you know what that did to me?!” Lance yelled panting as his anger was starting to kindle. 

“Fuck, Lance. I'm so sorry! I didn't-” 

“Sorry doesn't fix things Shiro! You hurt me, twice, and I honestly don't know if I can forgive you. I can't find the courage to forgive. I don't… “ Lance choked on a sob. Shiro saw his lips tremble and it absolutely broke Shiros heart. But what confused Shiro was when Lance said that he hurt him twice. Shiro tried to think back on it, to see if he really did do something he didn't remember, but he couldn't. But as he look back on his memories he saw how oblivious and cold hearted he was towards Lance. He always thought Lance was just playing around and not taking things seriously, but now, Lance was just trying to make Shiro happy. That's all Lance wants. Is for Shiro to be happy. Gods Shiro is and idiot. 

Shiro tried to step to Lance back he backed away from Shiro. In shock and horror Shiro shook his head.

“Please Lance, please I want to be able to be with you I you to talk to me like you usually do. This whole week has been hell for me and-” 

“And you think letting it out on me was the best option to go to?” Lance scoffed, interrupting Shiro.

“No Lance! I promise you I didn't mean to! Please Lance, please believe me.” Lance shook his head and dread washed over Shiro. 

“I don't want to forgive because I don't believe you. You've never been nice to me. And in case you haven't noticed, you're only ‘nice’ to me when Keith is actually talking to you!” 

Shiro wanted to reject his accusation but he knew it was true. 

“Just… please. Give me time. I need some time to focus on myself instead of others.” And with that Lance scanned his palm and rushed into his room. Leaving Shiro in complete shock. 

“Fuck!” Shiro screamed as he pulled at his hair, regretting every horrible and inconsiderate thing he did to Lance. Tears started to form at the rim of his eyes as he reminisced about Lance and how bubbly and thoughtful he was to Shiro. And how he was the exact opposite. He's been focused on how Keith feels about him so much he never noticed when that Lance was the one that made him the happiest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 will be out soon! But check out my Tumblr for good fandom content and updates about this Fic  
> its the same Username as this one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo i finally upated haha 
> 
> Sorry for it being so late i kinda got lost in my own mind 
> 
> But hopefully next chapter wont be as long a wait! Plus this chapter is kinda long :D 
> 
> Also please excuse any mistakes i dont have a lot of time t proof read and all so im literally throwing this at yall lol

It's been a week and three days since Lance has spoken to Shiro. They go on about their day since they spend a lot of time together because Shiro is Lances mentor, but Lance will not speak to him unless it's absolutely necessary. When they're in the lab Lance won't even look at him, and it's making Shiro feel guilty but also… angry? Gods he feels horrible for even feeling angry. He knows that he's the last person that should be feeling this way but he can't help it. Especially when Lance is talking and cheerful around everyone else besides him. More specifically, around Lieutenant Jackson. Shiros heard about Lieutenant Jackson. And it isn't good gossip. Shiro does try and steer away from gossip, but how can he when there's nothing else to do at the Garrison? Sure Lieutenant Jackson is a good pilot and has incredible academics but he's known to, as other people call it, “hit it and quit it”. Shiro shudders at the distasteful words in his head. 

He knows he shouldn't judge people based on gossip but when it comes to Lance he can't help but be protective and cautious. He has been inconsiderate towards Lance but he always looked out for him whether it was watching him on the flight simulator making sure he does good and marks the points where he could improve, or making sure his grades were up so Lance could feel good about himself. Shiros been there for him academically, but mentally, he hasn't. And he hates himself for it. He should've been there for Lance instead of beat him down.

For the time he's been at the Garrison Lance is known for his beauty. Girls and boys at the school want to get with Lance, but Lance always refuses. And with rejection comes jealousy. With jealousy comes rumors. Thankfully Lance has been unaware of these rumors, but gods if he was, grades would be the least of his problems. People are viscous and irrational, Shiro's learned. He's heard some of these rumors about Lance, which he knows aren't real because Lance spends the majority of his time with him, but gods are they vile. It's mostly the guys that start them because, let's face it guys are viscous when it comes to rejection. It's surprising that people actually believe some of these rumors when they're clearly exaggerated.

Shiro is currently training. It’s leg day today, his favorite day, squats and lifts is on his list today. As he starts to put the weights on the bar. He hears a familiar voice. No, not a voice, a laugh. Gods he missed that laugh. His head turns, Shiro's pretty sure he got whiplash from turning so fast, and as he thought, it was Lance’s laugh that he heard. His heart nearly dropped. Not only was Lance squatting, but he had the shortest shorts that Shiro has ever seen.Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating, it’s just Shiro has never seen Lance’s bare legs. Not even when they trained in the scorching heat. Lance was sort of self-conscious about showing skin when he was with Shiro. Anyway, why in the hell was Lieutenant Jackson holding his waist as he is squatting? It was like a scene in a movie in which the trainer was trying -and succeeding- to hit on the client, by being touchy and feely, complimenting them even when they did a horrible job. Shiro watched them intently, mainly watching Lieutenant Jackson's movements.

It came to a surprise to him but, he couldn’t help but think that he wants to be in Lieutenant Jackson’s place right now. Over the past week he’s been feeling these light pang of… something, every time he saw Lance with that man. Well not exactly a man because Lieutenant Jackson is still 19 (lance is 17 btw in this setting), the same age as him. They’ve gotten closer. Sitting with each other at lunch, Lieutenant Jackson walking Lance to his classes, even carrying his bag for him! Shiro does not approve. Right now, that feeling is surging through him, inflating everytime Lieutenant Jackson touches Lance. 

They stop squatting, which shiro thanks the gods for, and move to the yoga mats. Lance lays down on his back starts stretching, but not by himself. Lance has one leg crossed over the other, showing his wonderful curves and tight a-

“Shit!” Shiro screamed as he fumbled with the weight, nearly dropping it, that he has in his hands.

Not only was Lance stretching, Lieutenant Jackson was helping him. He has one hand on Lance’s leg, pushing down, and the other next to his head, making him lean over Lance’s body and their faces inches apart. This time Shiro could actually identify what he’s feeling right now. Rage. Pure fucking rage. And before he knew it, he was walking over to them. Long, powerful strides.

 

Lance is breathing hard, and blushing brightly. Jay was something else when it came to working out. Lance could hardly keep up with him. His puffs of breath hitting Jay’s face, Lance could see every freckle on Jay’s face.

Gods he’s so close!

“Do-do you usually help other cadets work out and stretch?” Lance asked Jay, out of breath because of their proximity. Jay smirked at Lance and pressed a little harder on Lance’s leg, making him whimper a little. Their eyes never leaving each other.

“No, I don’t.” He said lifting Lances leg and putting it on his shoulder, but before he could press his body down against Lance, a shadow was cast over them.

“Ehem.” 

They both look up to see Shiro standing over them with a frown of displeasure on his face.

“Ah! Lieutenant Shirogane! How are you?” Jay said while placing Lances leg to the side of him so now he’s in between Lance’s legs. He leaned back so he can talk to Shiro without straining his neck. 

“What are you doing?” Shiro growled, glaring down at Jay. 

Right now Lance has no idea what to do. He knows how this must look like. Him and Jay are extremely close, and the position they’re in is... well, it’s kind of sexual. The whole time they’ve been working out Jay couldn’t keep his hands off Lance. You see, Jay is a very touchy person, not in a pervy way but in a romantic way? Lance doesn’t know, he likes the affection and all, but it doesn’t feel right. Yes, he wants to be shown affection and love, but he wants it from a certain someone. And that certain someone, has no interest in showing him what he wants. So because of this, Lance allowed himself to get closer with Jay. Maybe a little too close.

“Helping Lance stretch? Why?” Jay asked, acting cluelessly, making Shiro’s rage spark even more.

“Lance can stretch perfectly fine on his own. He doesn’t need your help.” Lance could hear the anger in Shiro’s voice and it kind of scared him. 

But why does he look so hot? 

Oh gods. 

“Well… yes, he can. But why are you concerned with who Lance stretches with?” Standing up, Jay faced Shiro with a similar stance. Confident and intimidating. 

Why are they so angry?

And why do they look so hot?

Lance has an ultimate weakness, and its two guys fighting over him. Yeah he has no idea what to do. 

“Because Lance is my cadet. Not yours. So if he needs to be stretched, he can come to me. Not you.” Shiro said in a stern and commanding voice. Lance sat up, eyes wide at what Shiro just said. 

“My cadet.” 

His cadet! 

Shiro called Lance his cadet! 

The joy that ran through Lance was numbing. He couldn’t believe it! It might have been a few little words but gods it filled him with overwhelming joy. Lance thinks it’s as close as he’s gonna get to actually being Shiro’s. It’s all he’s ever wanted. But with their current situation, even looking at him still brings up those memories of Shiro basically saying that he’s worthless, and Shiro kissing Keith. It still haunts him, even when he’s overcome with happiness. 

“Hey! If Lance wants to be stretched by you he can, but he’s with me right now, so please Lieutenant Shirogane, let us be.” Jay said anger starting arise in his voice. His stance still intimidating as hell. Lance gets up, dusting his shorts off. He’s secretly happy that Shiro is upset because of their closeness, but he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt.

“Hey guys? Um… people are looking at us.” It was true. Cadets that were also training began to look at them the moment Jay stood up and got in Shiro’s face. Everyone knows thats a big no no. Shiro is a sweet guy. A caring guy. But he’s also built as fuck. And he’s only 19! Shiro has never been taken down in the training deck. Never. Not even by his seniors, which didn’t settle with them very well but who cares. So it’s safe to say that he’s pretty much feared and worshipped at the Garrison.

Shiro saw the look on Lance’s face, the look of fear, and he immediately deflated. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes, and apologized to Lance. And only to Lance.

“It’s alright.” Lance said shying away from Shiro. 

“I-I want to train with- with Jay… If it’s alright with you?” Lance said without realizing that he just addressed Lieutenant Jackson as ‘Jay’. it caught Shiro by surprise. Exactly how close are they?

“Well… i can’t really force you...just-” Shiro coughed awkwardly, taking a quick glance at Lieutenant Jackson, “just come to me next time you want to train.” before lance could answer, Shiro sped off, a slight blush on his face. He really just said that! 

 

Idiot! Lance is not gonna come to you! 

He still hasn’t forgave you!

Idiot.

Lance stood there. Wide eyed and blushing furiously. Did Shiro just say that to him? Did he really…

“Lance?” 

Ah! Right your working out with Jay right now.

“What? Oh..sorry!”

God damn it Lance, focus!

Who cares what Shiro said?!

“We were stretching before we got interrupted. But, we can do something else. If you’d like?”

“Yeah, let’s do something else.” Lance said. 

Gods Lance doesn’t know how he’s gonna go on for the rest of the day.

\--

 

“Pidge, ma dude. How on earth- what on earth did you make? It even has legs!” Lance inspected this… well Lance has no idea what it is exactly. It looks like a toy car with legs, legs! For crying out loud! Yet, Lance is so intrigued by it, even if he doesn’t know what it is. 

“It’s not and it Lance. It’s a she! And she brings me food when i don’t wanna go to the cafeteria! And don’t hold her like that! She’s sensitive…” Pidge explained to Lance, snatching the little robot away from him. Even he had to admit, she looked a little weird, but she gets the job done and that's all that matters.

“Okay…” Lance dragged on.

“What are you doing here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be with your crush- sorry mentor in the lab?” Pidge said. For the past week he’s noticed that lance hasn’t talked about Lieutenant Shiro as much as he used to. Gods did he get an ear full about him.

“But look at him Pidge! Gosh Keith is so lucky.” 

“Do you think Shiro likes me?”

“Do you think he likes guys?”

“I don’t think Shiro likes me…”

“Does he like me?”

ALL THE TIME. 

But now. Its like he doesn't even exist. At first Pidge thought it was a little strange that Lance isn’t boasting about his lover boy twenty-four-seven. 

But now.

Even mentioning his name to him… something is off.

“Lance?” Lance went silent after what pidge had said. Fidgeting with his fingers, picking at the cuticles of his nails.

“Huh? Oh, he said he doesn’t need me right now so…” Lance blinked a couple of times trying not to tear up.

“I thought i’d just hang out with you. If… that’s ok?” He asked, though it wasn’t a question but more of a plead. For how close Lance and Pidge are, Pidge has never seen Lance act the way he’s been for the past week. He hasn’t exactly been present in class. Either playing with his fingers or just bantantly not paying attention. He’s even been hanging around that other Lieutenant that everyone talks about. Pidge doesn't have that many friends, Hunk and Lance are the only ones that he actually feels comfortable around but, people talk. A lot. And he’s heard nothing good about that guy. He did mention it to Lance that he doesn’t think they should be hanging out but, he got mad and refused to listen to him. Pidge didn’t push on the subject that long because he doesn’t really care but, he knows that Lance can be vulnerable at times so he can’t help but be a little protective of him. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s cool.” Lance visibly brightened at Pidges approval and continued to ask questions about the little bot with legs. 

“Does it only bring you food?” Lance questioned.

“For the most part, yeah but i'm trying to reprogram it to follow other commands.” 

“Wow! That’s cool! Can you make it do tricks?” 

Pidge snorted.

“It’s not a dog Lance!” They both laughed but were cut off abruptly by loud poundings on the door to Pidges room. They let out a high pitched scream, clutching to each other's arms in panic. Once they realize how they were so close, how they screamed like a child in a haunted house. They released each other in a hurry and coughed awkwardly. Since Pidge is a high tech person he reprogrammed the control commands to his door so he can open it from a remote instead of manually going up to the door to let a person in. 

Pidge grabbed the remote a clicked it open, letting in a dying Hunk. 

“Woah man, you ok?” Lance said getting up to go to Hunk, just in case he passes out. 

“I- can't… holy cheese.” He mashed to push out.

“Easy buddy you're gonna pull something.” Pidge said also crossing over to Hunk, who's leaning on the dresser by the door, trying not to die.

“You guys… won't-” Hunk gasped, slowly getting out what he's trying to say.

“You won't believe what's going on in the training deck!” He shouted. Pidge and Lance look to another slightly confused but also intrigued because nothing exciting really happens at the Garrison. 

“Shiro and that other Lieutenant…” 

“Jackson?” Lance questioned in fear for what is going to be said next.

“Yeah! Him! They're all in each other's face like a western saloon face off. Shiros all ‘I'm big and buff don't fuck with me’ and Lieutenant Jackson is all ‘I'm smiling in your face because I know you won't do anything’.” He mimicked, or at least tried to mimic, their voices.

“There's a whole lot of testosterone between them and people are starting to crowd around them. I think they might fight!” Hunk said with enthusiasm.

On the other hand Lance, not so much. 

“What-what do you mean you think they might fight? Like fight- fight?” Dread washed over him just thinking about why they were arguing in the first place 

“Yes! So came to get you guys so we can witness Garrison history together!” Hunk enthused to Pidge and Lance. 

Lance, on the other hand wasn't that enthusiastic about what's going on. Lance hates violence, especially when it's affecting the people he cares about. 

He stood there silently, contemplating whether he should go or not, which drew the attention of Pidge. This wasn’t Lance. He was always the one for the dramatics but now, it’s like he doesn’t want to do anything. It confused Pidge because not only has Lance stopped gushing over Lieutenant Shiro, he’s acting different. 

Being late for class.

Staying up late. Pidge knows this because of the bags under his eyes.

And what’s the most different of all, he’s been attached to Lieutenant Jackson like a duck on water.

“Lance?” Hunk noticed his silence as well.

“I... I don’t know guys. I don’t want to get in trouble.” It was obvious that Lance was trying to make up an excuse. Both, Hunk and Pidge know about Lances secret hiding place. But Lance doesn’t know that they know. 

Trouble, is something they all know Lance isn’t afraid of.

Pidge is never really the one to push on about it but he knows something is off. And he senses Lieutenant Shiro is origin of it. 

“Lance you know you want to see this. It’s Shiro-big strong Shiro, about to get into a literal fist fight! You have to come.”

Begrudgingly, Lance agreed.


End file.
